Pressure
by mandaree1
Summary: Amethyst isn't the only one who exists without reason. Steven does too.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!**

 **Title: Pressure**

 **Summary: Amethyst isn't the only one to exist without reason. Steven does too.**

 **Warnings: SPOILERS for the LEAKED episode, Lion 4!**

 **...**

"I don't really have a destiny," Steven states flatly, and honestly no words have ever been more freeing. "I never did."

Amethyst pauses, fingers half-in and half-out of his hair. Then she mentally shrugs and goes back to running her hands through it. "That was always your big thing. That you had a destiny, I mean."

"You guys never disagreed with me."

"Why would we?"

Fair enough. They've never had a reason to. "Can I tell you something? Something personal."

"Sure, dude. I can handle it."

"Mom left me a video. I found it in Lion's mane."

Another pause. "A video?"

"Yeah." Steven thought her voice was remarkably fragile. "It was like she was introducing me to the world. 'Here's your dad, here's the beach, and here's me. But we'll never really meet, so goodbye.'"

"Ah."

"Are you mad at me for not telling you?"

Amethyst's lips purse. She shakes her head. "Between you and me, Rose left me a necklace. I keep it in one of my stash holes."

"The Slinker didn't get it?"

"If the Slinker so much as touched it, I would've believed Pearl sooner. Also, the Slinker would be rubble."

"Oh."

"I... think she left all of us a piece of her. But it's just so personal we don't wanna talk about it."

"Is it a pretty necklace?"

"The prettiest. I'd tell ya' I'll let you see it someday, but that would be a lie," she tugged on one of those little knots you don't know are there until you hit them. "So, about this tape?"

"She made a second one. For Nora."

"Nora?" Her nose wrinkled. "That name sounds familiar."

"It's what mom and dad were gonna name me if I was a girl. Nora Universe."

" _Ooh_ , right, right. That's so _Rose_ , honestly. Either you're all fancy like Nora, or all cool like Steven. No in-between."

"Steven is a nice name. I like Steven."

"Stars know I've shouted it enough times to grow fond of it myself." She rolled her eyes. "Seriously, you've been alive less than a century and Pearl's said your name all mom-like more times to you than she has to me in over _four hundred_."

Steven shrugs. "I'm good at what I do, and what I do just happens to invoke concerned name calls."

"I've plunged off _cliffs_. Into _avalanches_."

"Really? Wow. Could you breathe?"

"Nope."

Steven shuddered with a displeased noise. "I know you don't technically need air, but after so long of breathing it would suck to break the habit."

"Too late!"

They settle into silence. The commercial break on the TV ends, and Steven un-mutes _Crying Breaking Friends._ "I told dad about it, and you know what he said? That mom never really expected me to _be_ anything."

"I mean, same, bro."

"I always just assumed that I had some crazy magical destiny. That she had me for some super important reason." He looked at his hands. They were big; just like her's. "Why else would she have left you?"

Purple arms circle his neck, pulling him into a friendly embrace. Amethyst is lukewarm, the temperature of the room reflected in her form. "It's really not that complicated, Ste-man. Sometimes Rose just _did_ , you know?"

"I thought she had plans for me. That I was supposed to live up to her big scheme."

"Maybe she hoped you would," she shrugged, "doesn't mean she had you just for that."

Steven relaxed in her grip. His heart was warm and cold all at once. "I thought she had expectations for me- hopes for me- but, really? She had nothing."

"Yup."

"That's- that's really scary, isn't it?"

"A little bit. Sort of."

"The idea that this magic lady who knew everything not having any idea what I'm supposed to be- that's oddly terrifying. Like I'm some sort of glitch."

Amethyst scoffed. "Rose didn't know _everything_. She just pretended to- to make us all feel safe. We all knew, deep down, that it was a lie, but we could rest easier and put faith in it anyway."

"Like Garnet?" He asked.

"Like Garnet." She agreed.

"Mom never had any expectations for me. I get that now."

"Good."

"Do you?"

Amethyst shifted. A guilty snarl pinched her face, drawing her lip back in a toothy frown. "We don't mean to. We don't _want_ to."

"But you do."

"I'm sorry, Steven."

"No, no. It's okay. Really. That actually sounds more comforting than anything else. That somebody still expects me to _be_ something." He ran his fingers through his hair and pulled a bit to relieve stress, lightly dislodging her hug. "I'm starting to realize; I handle pressure better than freedom. Having a road to walk on that only goes one way is a little less daunting than swimming the ocean."

"That sounds like Gem talk, dude."

"Well, I _am_ half-Gem. Maybe some Gem thinking is in my bones, or whatever." He tapped his belly with light, prancing fingertips. "I guess what I'm trying to say is; you're not the only one who needs to break free from what everyone sees you as. And maybe that ocean isn't as scary when there's two of us. We'll just have to wait and see."

 **Author's Note: Happy spring break, everybody! (Unless you're in Canada; I hear that's just ending) So, this just leaked, and since my set doesn't count towards SU ratings, I decided to watch it, and I'm happy! I know it's not what most people wanted, but I'm just so happy to see Steven starting to be Okay again.**

 **Let's be real; there could be an entire episode of Steven-things with Amethyst snoring in the background and I would still find a way to make a Puma Buds thingy with it.**

 **-Mandaree1**


End file.
